I've been remembering who I was.. or who I was becoming. I used to meditate and seek to find solace in being part of something greater than myself. It feels familiar, yet at the same time I feel odd for having lost? misplaced? that part of myself for so many years.
At the same time, rather than feel some regret over years of wandering, I feel as though to some extent, the groundwork has been laid. It's not as though I'm starting something from scratch now. I came across some quotes from years ago and it's like seeing myself again for the first time in a long time. A part of myself I'd forgotten was there. And I feel a peace and homecoming.
But I think it is different, because of where I am in my life and career. I'm darned happy and successful! This isn't a means to reconcile myself with sorrow and suffering. I am simply looking for a union with something greater. Something into which I can devote my energy. It's not an escape, it's a vessel in which I can pour my energy.
It kinda feels like home